are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? here is a series of promises that really speaks true friendship..


1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard/bitch that made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will get on at you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to stop whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - stay away from me until you are well again! I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at you